Wednesday  Mar 15, 2006

Every BODY Has a Story: Shark and Anchor

"Boy, does this tat have a story… I gotta start by saying that I hate nautical tattoos. I really do! I have a bunch of gorgeous tats, and they are all Japanese style and they all work together really well. Except this one.

About seven years ago there was this movie being produced in town. A pretty low budget movie, but enough cash to hire people at least… At the time, my brother and I were doing some stunt stuff, you know, riding a unicycle, juggling guns, falling off roofs, that kind of thing.

I got hired to do a few stunts in this flick during the last day or so of filming. I did a couple of stunts and they went all right, but then I messed myself up a little, rolling over a car hood with a briefcase. It didn’t hurt that much, but I think the director felt a little bad for me.

Since it was the last day of filming, and they still had a little money left in the budget, they decided to fly the actors down to Vegas, and party. ‘Cuz of the little briefcase incident, they asked me if I wanted to go too. ‘Course I was up for it.

Most of the crew had already left on earlier flights, but I didn’t get o the plane ‘till around 10 PM that night. When I got on, I saw that one of the actresses was on board with me. We proceeded to get completely wasted. So wasted in fact, that we couldn’t figure out where we supposed to meet people that night.

Naturally, we ended up together (what else do wasted people in Vegas do?), but not before I got the biggest most awfully huge heart with her name, Jennifer, inside of it. It was a bad choice on a colossal sphere. But it got worse. We woke up, drove straight to the Church of Elvis and got married.

We hung out together for about a week until I figured out she and I didn’t really like each other that much and I went home. I didn’t actually think the wedding was real! I thought it was some sort of Vegas sideshow or something until I got served with papers a few months later.

Damn.

Well, obviously I had to get rid of that tattoo, so I showed it to my buddy and asked him if he could cover it up. He took a couple of days, checking to see what might work and then he called me.

“I have some good news and some bad news,” he said, laughing so loud I knew I was in trouble. “The good is that I can cover that tat, the bad is that it’s gotta be a shark biting an anchor…”

Damn. No more movie stunts for me."

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